Early morning meditation

The retreat is. Emerging, becoming. I notice how I am withdrawing to the edges of the mandala, staying in the subtle tension between belonging and not belonging, worthiness and un-worthiness, join in or hide. Tenderness. The “what has shaped me?” is alive. This morning in a cloud of sensations; color, taste, sound, and texture. Timeless and all times. Universal, past lives, previous generations, near past, present. 

I am/skandha creations/we are/continuum

eons
stardust
the Goldilocks zone
paradox

the point where soft grass meets bare feet
cold draft 
stone walls
bread
damp wool
solitude
light. laughter. lavender
earth

pine trees. tundra. polar night. generational silencing. community. howling wind. mute screams. roots. hearts. a lost language. smelly salty sea. inherited fear. inherited violence. survival. shame. shame. shame. hope

aurora borealis
marching in front of a rainbow parade (scanning for weapons)
burning heart. burning karma
paradigm (shift)
Abhayadāna

I am. We are. (💚)